The Death of Chivalry
It is pretty obvious to any girl that has been on the L.A. dating scene recently that chivalry is slowly but surely dying. My concern is whether it is dying of natural causes, such as progressive gender equality or did we, "modern" people murder it? Women have been fighting for equal rights since men supposedly discovered fire, but in our current society it sometimes feels like women try so hard to be equal that suddenly they switch, men become the women and women take on the roles of men.
I believe in gender equality as much as the next girl: equal pay and equal opportunities -- all the good stuff. But that does not mean that I am willing to pay $8.99 for my slice of pizza on a first date, nor am I willing to relinquish my seat to a man...ever, or open any doors of any kind. Unlike many women, I do not think that gender equality and chivalry correlate. To me, they are two entirely separate entities. You might say I am a different kind of feminist.
While I do not ignore the biological and historical gaps between male and female, I believe that biologically women are more delicate, more nurturing and in need of protection. No matter how you twist it, from mood swings to periods to pregnancy, we carry more biological burdens than the opposite sex. Historically women have been both worshipped and oppressed, and it's wonderful that we came to find such equilibrium on the job and education front, but please. When did we go from "Oh, fair lady, let me cover this puddle with my coat," to "You owe me five bucks for that Starbucks, baby." It's not all about the money, though in the 1950s, teen boys gave girls shiny, colorful pins as sign of the two "going steady" with each other - now that's romantic! Today we are reduced to rejoicing over a Facebook status that says "in a relationship." Apparently romance booked a spot in the graveyard next to chivalry.
Let me give you the perfect example: A friend of mine(let's call her Pink) dated a guy(let's call him Blue) on and off for six years. They were each other's first everything, yadi yadi ya. The girl lives in Santa Monica and the guy lives in Pasadena. Pink drove every weekend to see Blue, paying a hefty sum for gas in the process. One night during a candle lit dinner, Pink offered to pay, but Blue kindly declined, as he should, and insisted on paying because she drove. "If you drive to see me for once," said Pink, "I would love to take you out." "No," said Blue with a smile, "I have calculated the cost of driving to you versus the cost of paying for dinner and it comes out cheaper this way." Suffice to say they haven't seen each other since. That's not killing chivalry; that's practicing necrophilia with its broken corpse.
And for your information men, mentioning money or calculations of any kind during a romantic dinner is not a faux-pas. It's a faux-marathon.
Point is we are both killing chivalry by committing these infractions. Chivalry should be treasured and embraced. It is a tradition, like Christmas and Thanksgiving, a perk that both men and women can enjoy.
A big deal was made about Barack Obama pulling out a chair for Hilary Clinton at a debate in February. The feminists were all rallied up as usual. Give me a break! He was being polite - men should always pull out chairs for women, because it is a century-old ritual. And frankly, it's women like that who cause men to act like women.
Women should not get offended by kind gestures such as a man paying for dinner or him pulling out her chair. Personally I want equal opportunities. However, I do believe men should pay most, if not all of the time, and they should open my doors, pull out my chairs and protect moi. Call me selfish. I call myself a feminist.