Rejection is rejection, take it like a man

Let's be totally honest, we've all been rejected at least once. Unfortunately it's a part of life, and we must all deal with it at one point or another. Rejection can be as simple and easy as clearly saying, "No," or as complicated and annoying as "I see you as a friend;" which might be the worst of all. So let's go back to the straight-forward approach. The "No, I'm not interested in you" approach, which is, at the very least, the most helpful form because you receive closure immediately and have full ability to move on with your life afterwards. Sometimes an answer as assertive as that can result in heartbreak, pain, and confusion, but at least it's short-lived.

Blunt rejection is 100 times better than false hope. SMC student Chris Shin says, "I don't really have remorse towards how guys feel after I reject them, I think it's way worse and more cruel to lead someone on for no reason.  Plus, I make it very evident when I'm not interested, so the more pushy they become, the more blunt I become." But, some people are incapable of being blunt with their suitors.

This is where the next type of rejection comes in: the "I don't really want a relationship right now" spiel.  Although sometimes this may be true, a lot of people abuse it and use it mainly because it makes them feel like a better person. "Right now I'm at a point in my life where I need to focus on myself. I have no time for anyone in my life needing my attention so I have no choice but to reject them. It's nothing personal, I just don't need a relationship right now," says SMC student Vanita Chand. True, we all go through periods of time in our lives where we just don't have the availability or energy for something as consuming as a relationship, but that excuse is often used to substitute the famous phrase, "it's not you, it's me."  If she's actually interested in you, she'd turn her alleged relationship preferences around and give you a chance. The only time her evil ex-boyfriend who broke her heart and made her "incapable of dating" because of the miserable break-up comes into conversation is when she needs a quick way out.

It's an awful feeling: not being able to be with someone because they base everything off of their past and assume things will be the same with you. And it's usually just an excuse, another common form of rejection. "I don't want to be with you because you remind me of my ex." Just a heads up: if you're being rejected by someone who tells you they don't want to be with you because you remind them of their ex, chances are that there are some lingering feelings wandering around, and a relationship should never be started with someone like that. Instead of getting depressed, consider your rejection as a savior from a lot of drama and pain.

Rejecting someone nicely must be one of the toughest things to master (because it's practically impossible), and that's where the friend approach steps into the picture. It's occurred at least once to all people, the "you're such a great friend, and I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship" line. The typical bittersweet approach one uses hoping to balance out the pain of rejection. A lot of people have a way of sugar coating things. If you're really friends with this guy, you owe it to him to be honest. Sugarcoating gets you NOWHERE. All it does is illuminate the fact that you weren't bold enough to tell it like it is.

But, if the speaker really means it, or the listener is oblivious enough to think she's telling the truth, this approach can work for some people.  SMC student Chigo Chima says the least painful way he's gotten rejected was the friendship approach. "She rejected me by complimenting my characteristics. She told me how she appreciates my qualities as a person and what an amazing friend I am and that she would never want to ruin that or change it by initiating anymore more," said Chima.

Rejection is painful any way you put it. You are failing to get something you really want. Every approach boils down to the same thing: "No, I'm not interested." The straight-forward approach saves time, confusion and energy. It may sting just a little because it's the TRUTH, but at least it's not a sugar-coated answer (read: a lie), that will eventually require you to be blunt, prolonging the inevitable. One may get rejected either more bluntly or in a more subtle fashion but at the end of the day there is no "nice" way of rejecting one per say, it hurts any way it's put, it's simply up to how the other person takes it.